Trusting your concept

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37K5Q3yTlH0] So I never talked about the demon sheep video that made waves at the begining of the year (though if I had, I would have talked about gimmicks and the need to be authentic).  This commercial is by the mastermind of Demon Sheep, Fred Davis.  It's an attack on Senator Patty Murray, who in 1992 ran as a mom in tennis shoes.

I showed this ad to a couple of folks, and they thought it was awesome.  Funny thing was, I thought it was less than awesome, and the why goes back to the title of this post. I think this is an awesome concept and a great attack.  It turns Murray's image around in an interesting way.

So what's the problem? I think the execution is less interesting and effective than the concept.

This isn't a concept problem, but a script problem.  The script is heavy handed, it sort of takes the wind out from the visuals. I think this ad would be more effective with a short script that packed more punch.  Imagine the same visuals, you see the white sneaks, then they're stepping on the backs of the people.  All this time there's no voice over.  I think that's interesting and it gets you curious.  After 10 or 15 seconds hit your talking points, "Patty Murray told us she was different, but she did X, Y, Z, tell Patty to get off our backs..."  Less details, sure, less message, maybe, more effective without a doubt.

This is a good concept, but I wish it had a good script to drive the point home, as it is, I think it misses the mark.